aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
