i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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