Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
this beer tastes like vomit already
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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