Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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