Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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