We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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