Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
