New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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