so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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