just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
