i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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