After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
