thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
