Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
