no. you can't hotbox the world.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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