I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
