i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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