I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
