The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
