The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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