Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
