Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
