Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
