i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
