i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
