he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
