Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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