Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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