So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
