I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
