forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have aggressive nipples.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
