He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
