woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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