I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
