My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
