brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
