Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
