I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
