It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
