I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
