I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Your dad touched me again.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
