I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
