Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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