I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Never joke about your clitoris.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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