went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
