well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
