i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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