Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
