I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
