So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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